Men – Let this sink in…

“My daughter is a nurse at the hospital and she doesn’t want me on the streets but I have a restraining order preventing me from stepping foot in my own house which I worked hard and paid for”

If it’s one takeaway I’d like every man to understand if you speak to men who have been to Family Court and have see the full blown results of what marriage can do to a man it is this. The Myth of Wedded bliss or the fabricated research to tell men that they need marriage to make them live longer or so that they won’t die alone. Its all a myth. Marriage causes the absolute worst outcomes for men. The trick these researchers use is to count divorced men with single men because technically they are single but Marriage is the cause of divorce. You cannot get divorced if you aren’t married.

Bella De Paulo has debunked many of these marriage myths in her book “Singled out” and her column at Psychology Today.  I would encourage men about to get married to understand the full implications of marriage. The problem is not with women so much – women will always be women, it’s the laws and expectations that surround marriage, and the fact that with marriage in 2017 you are introducing a whole lot of risk into your life with the very little benefit that cannot be gotten without marriage. I have spoken to hundreds of men who have been through the divorce mill in many countries and their stories are all very similar. In fact, Trinidad men tell me that the Family Courts are more hostile towards men who expects that he will get a fair trial. My guess is that Family courts are almost exclusively run by women and its their little enclave and the stories from behind hardly never get out because Trini men prefer to lick their wounds in the dark.  But remember you cannot get divorced if you are not married.

 

 

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